It is quite surprising that biological entities with opposing thumbs and the ability for abstract thought can end up believing the most incredible rubbish. I'll leave you to make up your own list but my list is from the northeast and is just as barmy as lists from all over the country.
The Monkey
Hangers
In a
little known coastal town of Durham,
where folk
divint gerout much not even at neet,
they were freetend auld Boney would invade em,
and send his
navy for the feet.
Town
elders met ower a pint to discuss a defensive plan,
and taaks were gannin well till little Bobby asked a question,
has any o
yous seen a French man,
a lively
discussion ensued accruing many a suggestion.
After much
speculation ‘Bob the answers naa man,’
but ivry
body naas all of us,
so any
stranger plodgin threw the surf and up the sand,
must be
someone we canna truss.
The
nightly watch was set,
and for a
while aal wes quiet,
not a
single Frenchman wes met,
nee galleons
and only the odd Friday riot.
Until late
one parky Tuesday neet,
sail wes
spotted in the distance,
Headland cannon
wes loaded ready for the feet,
the town
mounted a plucky resistance.
The lads
wer on target and sank a ship,
the remains
o’ the armada both turned and fled,
Tommy commented
‘that was a short-lived trip,’
Aye - better
mek shuwer the sailors are dead.
A creature
in French uniform crawled from the wave,
it was
captured and thrown into jail,
locals thought
its antics wer the way French behave,
they celebrated
with lots of ale.
The
following dawn was set for the execution,
the
Frenchie to be hung without fail,
a trial
run with defence and prosecution,
but nee one asked why the perp had a tail.
© David
L Atkinson December 2024
God Bless
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